This zine is a record of my first year living abroad, followed by my move to the capital of Poland. I was lost for most of that time. I didn’t get into the university I had dreamed of, and although I was working practically day and night in the environment I had always wanted to be part of, I still felt like I was falling short of both my own expectations and those of the people around me.

It was an extremely difficult year. I felt overwhelmed, tired and, at times, completely indifferent. That state of mind found its way into my work. I experimented a lot, started projects that never went anywhere, abandoned ideas and made plenty of things that simply didn’t work.

Looking back, I think I needed that year. I needed to get lost before I could start figuring out who I actually was and what I wanted to do. Not everything in this zine is successful, and I think that is important. It documents a period when I was searching without really knowing what I was searching for.


The transition from being a teenager to turning twenty felt particularly intense. It was as if, almost overnight, I was expected to have a clearer idea of who I was, where I was going and what I wanted from my life. I didn’t have those answers.

There is also a lot of Iceland in this edition. I kept coming back there, both physically and mentally. At some point, it became my mecca — a place I could return to when everything else felt too loud.

This is probably one of the least resolved zines in the series, but also one of the most honest ones.